Chaos, my personal excuse for unhealthy self care.

Today, "When was the last time I took a shower?" I asked myself while smelling my hair, too afraid to say the words out loud. "Was it Monday? No, I had to deal with a kid emergency. It was last Wednesday!?!" I think in panic, as I am scoping dirt of the table from a failed sand castle attempt. "We are going out tonight I can't look like this."

I walk over my seemingly never ending pile of laundry, and check the washer where I see a forgotten load of wash that has my favorite outfit in it. "Oh man really? how did I miss this yesterday." I start the load again. I manage to get to the bathroom. The toilet has its seat up and un-flushed, toothpaste splattered on the mirror. "Well, at least I know they brushed their teeth this morning." I whisper to myself as I wipe off the mirror, and flush the toilet.

I start to undress and turn the water on in the shower, forgetting to shut the door behind me I notice a pile of toys in the tub. "I guess I will have to pick those up after they dry again." I think to myself. I step in pushing toys aside with my feet. I use the last bit of shampoo, "How am I out of shampoo?!" then I see the bottom of the tub bubble up and notice the slippery feel of my shampoo under my feet. "I am going to kill, someone, if they don't kill me in this shower first." I nearly say out loud.

I rinse the soap out of my hair and then let the conditioner sit in it to help my super dry hay like hair maybe loose its frizz. I start to shave my right leg with what seems to be a dull blade. I reach out to find a new blade and realize I am also out of those too, so be grudgingly I seek out my husbands razor.

I finish up shaving my right leg when "BANG" the door shuts. My daughter say loudly "MOM, Brother won't let me play with him on the tv, and I am hungry!" I start to shave my left leg saying. "Why did you slam the door? I will get you snack after I am done." I can't even hear the whining answer beyond the bold temperature drop to ice water as I jump cutting my leg. Thinking "OH MY GOD, This is so cold. Crap, I still have conditioner in my hair." All my focus is raising out the cream goop out of my hair in the freezing water.

" What happened to all the hot water?" I think. Then I start to hear the thud, thud, thud, of an unbalanced washer. Suddenly, I remember where all the hot water went. I climb out of the shower, to my audience of one and grab the towel which is now longer soft and fluffy but worn and full of holes. I go throw some clothes on as I wait for the washer to finish so I can hopefully dry my clothes all before we go out. When I realize I didn't finish shaving my legs.

This, This is my excuse for my unhealthy self care.

Do I long to have a healthy self care routine, where I can keep up with my kids, my house, and my own needs. Yes, I work towards that goal everyday. However, it doesn't always look like I want it to. I remember my mother, taking so much time for herself, but I don't remember much of the time she spent with me. I just want to find a balance, a healthy balance. I am still working on that. I hope you can relate and I do have better days but this is my most common. So if I look like I have forgotten to shower, it most likely is because I forgot to shower.

#Weekend #Fun #Saturday