Date Nights Admits the Daily Chaos

For me this is an on going challenge to make time for the "Us" admits the daily chaos of kids, life, work, and feeling just exhausted. What ever the stage you find your relationship in, it important to remember that time spent together is an important piece to keeping your relationship strong. We haven't always had the money, time, or babysitter to really do lavished date nights. You know the ones, where you go do some fun activity, then eat some amazing food, followed by a night cap in a perfect bedroom space. That doesn't happen for us but maybe once or twice a year. I have felt discouraged by this at times, however I remember that we do spend time enjoying each other and that is what I wanted to share with you.

Here are a few things I remember when having date time, especially with having kids around.

1. You don't have to be alone to enjoy each other. Remember as kids and teens, couldn't we dive into a relationship even with friends, family, or strangers around? It really isn't any different with your kids around. In fact, I personally think it is important that your kids see you have deep relationship time in front of them so they can see how that really works. Yes, even PDA affection isn't shameful. So in short if you want to go out welcome your kids along with you on your adventure.

2. Make an easy day for yourself to find some alone together time. Just as it is important to remember to enjoy each other around others, it is important to have some alone time. So make the kids a quick, easy, no mess, dinner then send them to bed. Something I do with my older kids on a Saturday is tell them they get to have a late night, but the conditions are they use their tablets to watch something together or individually and they have to have the lights off while being in bed. If they follow the conditions then they can stay up till midnight as long as there is no fighting, noise, or getting up a bunch (bathroom breaks are allowed). This gives them an exciting thing to look forward to and we have already done our work of bedtime routine. They really hustle through their bedtime routine on those nights.

3. Make time for it in a way that really works for you. Schedule it if you have to, plan it if that works for you, make it spontaneous if you want, whatever it looks like for you just do it. I have been with my husband for 10 years and let me tell you when your tired, sick, busy, socially stretched, and sore the last thing on your mind is quality time. Time slips away without us noticing, and it can end up being months since you really made a deliberate effort to spend time together. It's not like it hasn't happened organically or won't, but making a choice to just have fun and laugh with each other is important.